What a Mother Taught Me About Truly "Seeing" People with Disabilities

A lesson in connection from a Disney World line, and why it matters for everyone

By: Jennifer Graves, President of the STAR Center

I was standing in a long line at Disney World with my daughter when she was a child and I noticed a girl in a wheelchair nearby. I smiled and struck up a conversation with her mother, who shared that her daughter was nonverbal. My daughter and I started playing peek-a-boo, and soon the little girl was laughing.

When the line wrapped around and we found ourselves beside them again, her mother leaned over "Thank you for seeing my daughter," she said. "Most people act like she's not even there."

That moment, years ago, changed how I understand connection and disability. It reminded me of something we learned as children: that everyone is special in their own way. But more importantly, it showed me that recognition, that simple act of acknowledging someone's presence, is a fundamental human need we all share.

We all want to be seen and heard. We want to know that someone notices when we show up. We want to feel valued. For people with disabilities, that basic human need is too often unmet, not out of malice, but out of uncertainty.

I am often asked, "How do I appropriately interact with someone who has a disability?" What people are really asking is, "How can I support someone without offending them?"

The answer is simpler than you might think: Listen.

For children with disabilities, it starts with meaningful conversations with their parents. For adults, it requires openness and a willingness to learn. Understanding an individual's strengths and challenges is the foundation for helping them thrive, whether you're a teacher in a classroom, a supervisor in a workplace, or a stranger in a theme park line.

At the STAR Center, our trained therapists begin by understanding each person's unique baseline and building from there. We don't make assumptions, and we don't place limitations based on perception.

Our services create real opportunities:

• Music therapy helps students like Hayden develop social skills and emotional expression she couldn't access through traditional communication

• Our reading clinic helps young students develop confidence to read in front of their peers and move forward in their education.

• Assistive technology allows individuals like Clay to do their jobs, but with less pain and angst.

• Home care services allow seniors with disabilities to age with dignity in their own homes, surrounded by family and familiar routines

• Employment services partner with individuals and employers to create meaningful work where everyone thrives

• Low vision and blind services continue expanding what's possible, from adaptive technology training to social opportunities like our recent group bowling outing

Every disability is different. Some are visible; others are invisible. Some impact cognitive abilities; others don't. Our role isn't to fix people. It's to remove barriers and believe in potential.

The goal is simple and profound: to help every individual become the best version of themselves.

That starts with seeing people, really seeing them. Whether you're an employer considering a candidate with disabilities, a parent teaching your children about differences, or someone standing in line next to a family that looks different from yours, you have the power to create connection.

Here's how:

• Ask questions with genuine curiosity, not assumptions

• Speak directly to people with disabilities, not around them

• Recognize that accommodation isn't special treatment. It's access

• Support organizations that create opportunities for people with disabilities

At the STAR Center, we believe everyone deserves to be seen, heard, and given the tools to succeed. Because everyone truly is special in their own way.